Friday, November 21, 2008

Nov. 21, 2008: The Week in Weirdness

"It's amazing, it's astounding, but it's no B.S."
- George Carlin(RIP)

News involving your fellow man at their less than stellar moments.

All hail our new arachnid space lords!

A two spiders were taken aboard the international space station and one was subsequently "lost". So far NASA has no idea where the spider could have gone. Sigourney Weaver has reportedly been giving NASA disdainful looks and rolling her eyes.

In other "objects lost in space" news . . .
NASA on Wednesday said astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper's grease gun shot it's load a little early causing her to loose her tool bag. Apparently even in space women are still aggravated by pre-mature ejaculation.

Sorry I tried to cut your head off mom, here's $5!
Authorities say an 11-year-old boy hit his mother in the head with a saw and then offered her $5 not to call police. The boy is reportedly facing an aggravated battery charge and time out.

Won't you be my psychotic neighbor?
Police said a Pennsylvania man bound his neighbor with duct tape, doused him with gasoline and threatened to set him on fire unless the neighbor confessed to burglarizing his house.

Drop that coffin or I'll taser you!
Five sheriff's deputies will be disciplined after they used a taser while serving an arrest warrant on a man at his father's funeral while he was loading his fathers casket into a hearse.

Don't arrest me or I'll pee on you!
A 35-year-old man faces charges after allegedly driving drunk and then urinating in the back of a squad car and on the arresting officer. Daniel Shilts, pulled over for driving under the influence and striking a pole at a gas station, urinated in the back of the squad car and sprayed the officer in the back of the head.

Dog to owner: I'll teach you to leave me in the car!
A dog left inside a running van put the vehicle in drive, causing it to crash into a Long Island coffee house where his owner entered to buy coffee.

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